Tuesday 21 October 2014

Maharashtra Politics compared with "Game of Thrones"

It's the game of thrones battle in Maharashtra. It was a big win for Maharashtra. The election results yesterday showed BJP won 42 percent of the seat share, Shiv Sena won 22 percent seat share, Congress won 15 percent and the NCP got 14 percent.
The contest is between five major parties - the Congress, the Bharatiya Janata Party, the Shiv Sena, the Nationalist Congress Party and the Maharashtra Navnirman Sena.
The Maharashtra election battle reminds us of HBO's Game of Thrones and the five major houses. Take a look:
Who will be the King?
Who will be the King?
Shiv Sena = House Baratheon: The motto of the house is "Ours is the Fury", much like the Shiv Sena.
And, probably it was the'fury' that led to the break up between the party and its 25-year-old alliance partners, the BJP. Shiv Sena chief Uddhav Thackrey held Prime Minister Narendra Modi's silence responsible for the break up. "When the alliance broke, Narendra bhai could have also done. He did nothing," CNN-IBN quoted Uddhav Thackrey as saying.
Thackeray said that the reason for the break up was BJP's assumption that the Shiv Sena has become weak. "Had Balasaheb have been alive, they wouldn't dare to do it," he added. Uddhav's quote reminds us of King Robert Baratheon--one of the greatest rulers in Westeros. After Robert Baratheon's death, there was rift within the house and became divided.
BJP= House Lannister: Cersei Lannister, the eldest child of Tywin and Joanna Lannister were married to Robert Baratheon. And, the marriage was much like the BJP-Shiv Sena alliance. If you follow GoT, you will know the Lannisters are now the most powerful house in Westeros. The Maharashtra election results show a similarity between the Lannisters and the BJP. The BJP in Maharashtra is won 122 seats. The Lannisters' motto is "Hear me roar!".
Can we deny it sounds very similar to the BJP?
NCP= House Stark: The Sharad Pawar-led NCP snapped ties with Congress in the run up to the Maharashtra polls. The results till now show that the NCP won 41 seats. And, Congress in 42. Together they wouldn't have been able to lead, but they were better off. Clearly, it was a big mistake to break up.
"We gave support to Congress for the betterment of people of the nation. In 2004, the number of NCP MLAs was more than that of Congress but still we were modest and gave support to them," a spokesperson had said. Too much pride?
Throughout the show, the House Stark also showed that they were better off alone--which did not do them much favour. Dear NCP, winter is coming!
Congress= House Tully: As far as exit polls go, they haven't been too kind to the Congress. Neither has Westeros been to this house. The motto of the House "Family, Duty, Honor"--that's much like what we think would be a Congress motto. At the onset of the War of the Five Kings, House Tully came under attack by House Lannister and lent its support for House Stark when they came to their aid in the liberation of the Riverlands.
Compare it to the political situation in Maharashtra, the Congress came under the attack of BJP and led its support to NCP. However, House Tully has since been formally stripped of lands and titles for rebellion against the Iron Throne, with Lord Edmure a captive of House Frey following the Red Wedding. Most exit polls haven't given the Congress-NCP alliance much of a chance with almost all of them predicting a complete rout of the two parties. Ouch.
MNS= House Targaryen: After the election results, you can only feel sad for the MNS just like you feel for the Targareyens' in the show. The Raj Thackeray led party won only 1 seat. House Targaryen was the ruling royal House of the Seven Kingdoms for three centuries. Though, MNS had a clout in Maharashtra, the Lok Sabha poll debacle was probably the beginning of their end. Even the independent parties are leading in more seats in the state.

Friday 12 September 2014

Je mainu “C” na mile te tu “Core Java”

Tu hai lajawaab, tere skills hai hazaar
Mera bhi pata hai, main na maanu kabhi haar
Teri meri duniya mein be-hisaab calls
Main hoon ek Recruiter aur Placement mera pyaar

Tere jaisa W2 pe koi bhi nahi
Jise dhoondti Texas me, tu hi hai wahi
Recruitment ki rani hoon main sabse haseen
Par tere bina KiCK mujhe milti nahin
Tere bina KiCK mujhe milti nahin
Tere bina KiCK mujhe milti nahin
Tere bina, tere bina...

Je mainu “C” na mile te tu “Core Java”
Je mainu “Pearl” na mile te tu “Core Java”
Je mainu “koi” na mile te tu “Core Java”
Je mainu “C” naa miley
Je mainu “Pearl” naa miley
Je mainu “koi” na mile te tu “Core Java”!

(Honey Singh Rap)
Har call baby, hai Voice Mail baby
Aa tujhe Sub karoon main sar-e-aam baby
Hai intezam baby, kar ehtram baby
Iraade nek mere, na koi ganda kaam baby
Calls, Sub aur Placement khule aam karoon

Main hoon Recruiter, tera rate ye tere naam karoon
Aaja meri baaton mein
Let me Sub you baby
Kahin tu mujhse ye na keh de

Je menu Job na mile, mile.. mile...
Te har jaawaan
Je menu job  na mile te har jaawan
Je menu job  na mile te har jaawan
Je menu job na mile
Je mainu job na mile
Je menu job na mile te sadd jaawan

Friday 2 August 2013

Game of Socialeros - (Map)

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This is something really funny and I didn't have to think much to make this map.


All I did is, I took 6 Social Websites and I named them as per the kingdoms in Game of Thrones.


The Wall is being protected by Norton Antivirus from the Internet Viruses and Bugs called (TROJAN)

ORKUT'S - They were the kings of social networking and now they are not known at all and I've compared them with the Targareyns.


FACEBOOK'S - Are the Kings of the Social Networking Era and they are at the Kings Landing compared with the Baratheons.


GOOGLE+'s - Are the Starks of the Winterfell and they are genuine people and give all their products free and no one goes to them for anything. They do not wish to be the Kings of the Social Networking until they get betrayed by Twitters (Lannisters)

TUMBLR's - They are the Greyjoys of the Westeros. No one loves them !! 



If you feel like adding some story or some companies, please do so !!! COMMENTS

Monday 22 July 2013

Aap Chutiye Hai - Ultimate Collection

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AAP CHUTIYE HAIN -------- ULTIMATE COLLECTION!!

·         Agar aap gym mein Itna workout karte hain ki aapki chest aapki girlfriend se badi dikhti hai, toh Ronnie Coleman ki kasam AAP CHUTIYE HAIN 

·         ladki k chakkar me suicide karne walo...saare brahmand ki nazron me aap aashiq nahi AAP CHUTIYE HAIN

·         Kisi Marketing SMS ko apne 9 dosto ko forward karke ye sochna ki apko 51.42 ka talktime milega, kasam Bharti mittal ki AAP CHUTIYE HAIN

·         Agar aap apni Saheli (girlfriend) ki recharge p recharge karaye ja rahe hai par fir bhi wo aapko MISS CALL hi karti hai aur aap uske yeh baat maan lete hai ki wo JALANDHAR WALE BUA se baat kar rahi the isliye balance khatam hogyaa ,,, to kasam Vodafone ke zoozoo ki AAP CHUTIYE HAIN

·         Agar aap software install karte vakht Next-next click karke bin dekhe add-ons install karte hain, toh ask tool bar ke search box me aapke liye likha hoga ki AAP CHUTIYE HAIN

·         Mumbai me reh kar "OMG I saw Tusshar Kapoor today- best day of my life!!" type status lagane wale, kasam uspe aye 5 likes ki kasam, AAP CHUTIYE HAIN

·         Ganesh sthaapna ke mauke pe "halkat jawaani" gaana bajaake naachne walo, AAP CHUTIYE HAIN

·         Non-veg and sharaab tuesdays & thursdays ko naa kha-Peeke agar aap sochte hai ke bhagvan apse khush ho jayenge to kasam KFC ke full Fried chicken bucket ki AAP CHUTIYE HAIN

·         Agar apne dosto ko chhor ke aap 24 ghante ladkiyo mein ghuse rehte hain toh aap Cocktail ke hero nahi, AAP CHUTIYE HAIN

·         AND THE ULTIMATE ONE!!!
Agar aap Sab Se Costly i-phone lete ho aur $1cost ki wajah se Whatsapp install nahi karte ho to China mobile use karne wale bhi kahenge ki AAP CHUTIYE HAIN

Friday 19 July 2013

Latest SMS Jokes

Santa Radio lekar khet me potti karne gaya.
Banta:Aaj to maje se ki hogi?
Santa:Khak maje se ki, radio pe Jan-Gan-Man aa gaya. Khade khade kani padi.


Ekbar ek sharabi ja raha tha achanak kichchad me gir gaya itneme bijli chamki sharabi bola he bhagwan ek to kichchad me gira diya aur photo bhi khinch liya

1 Sardar library me 3 Ghante 1 Book padhne k Baad bola
SO BORING itne sare characters but no story.
Librarian- Sardar Ji, wo TELEPHONE DIARY thi.


Ek Sardar apne Marriage Certificate ko ek ghante se dekh raha tha.Biwi boli:tussi inni der se ki dekh rahe ho?
Sardar:Expiry Date dekh raha hu. ....

T.V. chalu karo aur news dekho katrina hospitaliesed hai kyonki usne mujhe propose kiya aur maine use sadi se mana kardiya to us pagli ne apne hath ki nas kat li

100 ladkiyo ne suicide kar liya aur 30 ne apne nas kat li aur 10 ladkiya behose ho gayi kyonki kisi kamine ne meri sadi kijhoti khabar faela di thi


One day RAVAN went to disco... aur woh behosh ho gaya, due to shock.....!
why.....?? " Coz the entry fee was Rs. 1500 per HEAD...!!!

Har Khushi Teri Taraf Mod Doo
Tere Liye Chand Tare Tak Tod Doo
Khushiyon Ke Darwaje Tere Liye Khol Doon,
Itna Kaafi Hai ya Do Chaar Jhoot Aur Bol Doo

Munna bhai: "Circuit, agar bus pe tu chade, ya fir tujpe bs chadJaye 2 kya hoga"!!
Circuit: "bole 2 bhai,dono baar ticket apani hi kategi."


Maa-Nalayak Kaha Thi Itni Raat Tak?
Beti-Boyfriend Ke Saath,
Maa-Kar Aayi Na Muh Kala,
Beti-Toh Kya Hua Maa Fair & Lovely Hai Na. . .

pehle wo meri GF thi
Me bolta tha wo suni thi
phir wo meri mangetar bani,
Wo bolti thi main sunta tha
jab wo meri BIWI bani Hum dono bolte he
Mohalla sunta hai.

vo bhi kya din the jab 19-20 sal ki ladkiya hum ko roz kiss kar ti thi
lakin tab hamri kismat phuti thi ki hamari umar 2-3 sal ki thi

Girlfriend ne kiya kiss aur jal gye mere Lips.
Girlfriend ne kiya kiss or jal gye mere Lips.
Kyuki Vo kha kar ayi thi INDIAN "BINGO RED CHILLY CHIPS".


2 choohe paid pe baithe the,
neeche se 1 hathi guzra,
1 chooha hathi pe ja gira
dosra chooha bola - daba ke rakh saale ko me baata hu.


Indian Govt kahti hai ki
ek ladki padhai kar le to pariwar ke 4 logo ko shikshit krsakti hai.
.
.
.
pr ek ladki colge jaati hai to 40 ldke FAIL ho jate h.
uska kya??


Marriage is a 3-ring circus - engagement ring, wedding ring and Suffering.

Indian Banks Description
IDBI-Itna Dhan Bina Income
SBI-Sab Bhikari Idhar
HDFC-Har Dum Fakir Chand
HSBC-Hum Sabse Bade Chor
Bank of Baroda-Bank Of Bhangis

Doctor to Female : Kya aap delivery ke time baache ke pita ko
apne paas dekhna chahenge?
Female : Nahi, unhe mere pati pasand nahi karte!!!

Ek baar ek terrorist ne ek budhiya ke ghar me bomb rakh diya.
Log chillaye – Budhiya bomb hai, Budhiya bomb hai.
Budhiya sarmakar boli : Dhatt teri, wo to mein jawani me thi!!!

Husband : Jab mein aache clothes pehenkar bazaar jata hu to sabziwale
sabzi mehngi dete hai. Jab gande kapde pehenkar jata hu to saste.
 

Wife : Tum katora lekar jaya karo na, free me hi sabzi mil jayegi!

Santa to Autodriver : Gurudware Jaoge?
Driver : Haan bilkul jaunga?
Santa ne jeb se polythin nikala aur bola : Wapas aana to mere
liye langar le aana!


Ek 99 year ka aadmi Swarg ki raunak aur sunder apsarao ko dekhke bola : “Ye Baba Ramdevv ke chakkar me na pada hota to yaha 30 saal pehle aa gaya hota”.

Jeeto: Ek baat batani hai, par please mujhe maroge to nahi.
Santa: Haan bolo.
Jeeto: Mein Pregnant hu.
Santa: It’s a gud News. Ess baat par kyu tumhe maru.
Jeeto: Shadi se pahle pitaji ko bataya to bahut maar padi thi.

Santa got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket. He gave
Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have pass.

Santa by mistake goes into a ladies toilet.
All ladies suddenly stand up
Santa : Izzat dil me ho yehi kaafi hai,
Baitho Baitho…:)

Boss: Itne kam kapray pehan k q aai ho? Aadha jism dikh raha hai.
Girl: Itni salary mein yehi aata hai!
Boss: Manager, Iss ko 3 months tak salary mat dena

Medical science proved ki
Kapre tight pehnney se Blood Circulation ruk jati hai.
But
Larkiyon ke kapre jitne tight ho,
Larko ke blood circulation utni tez hoti hai!!


Height Of Embarrasment :
Man Sitting With his Wife in the Park
Another Lady Comes to his Wife and Says:
“Paise Pehly Le lena, ye admi Baad Mai Bahut Lafra Karta Hai.


After legalizing gay’s relations in india
The question tailors are asking to male customers while stitching trousers…
“Sir, Zip aage lagau ya peeche?


On first night after marriage
Wife : Mujhe ghabrahat ho rahi hai.
Husband : I thinK because this is your first night.
Wife : No, no.. Actually it is first time in night…


Santa is raping a girl. Girl shouting,
Santa : Chillao yahan se tumhari awaz bahar nahi ja sakti,
Girl : Mujhe yakin nahi aata,
Santa : Theek hai mein yahan chillata hun tum bahar jaake suno aawaz aati hai ya nahi?


Madam to Student : Last Semester you were roaming
with that girl and this semester you are roaming with other.
What you think of yourself?
Boy : Syllabus changed mam.


Banta to Doctor : Doctor Sahab! Mein apna dimag daan karna chahta hu.
Doctor : Hoga to hum le lenge


Son to Dad : Papa, Mein itna bada kab hounga ki mein mummy se bina puche bahar ja saku?
Papa : Beta abhi itna bada to mein bhi nahi hua!!!

Thursday 18 July 2013

Tricky Brain Teasers



Ques. As I went across the bridge, I met a man with a load of wood which was neither straight nor crooked. What kind of wood was it?

Ans. Saw Dust



Ques. Six glasses are in a row. The first three are full of juice; the second three are empty. By moving only one glass, can you arrange them so empty and full glasses alternate?

Ans. Pour the juice from the second glass into the fifth glass



Ques. A time when they’re green, a time when they are brown, but both of these times, cause me to frown. But just in between, for a very short while, they‘re perfect and yellow, and cause me to smile! Who am I?

Ans. Bananas



Ques. What do sea monsters eat?

Ans. Fish and ships



Ques. Why did the cake like to play baseball?

Ans. Because it was good batter



Ques. In a year, some months have 30 days, while some have 31. Guess, which month has 28 days?

Ans. All months have 28 days!



Ques. What goes up and down, but still remains in the same place?

Ans. Stairs



Ques. Which letter of the English alphabet flies, sings and stings?

Ans: The letter B (bee)



Ques. I am slim and tall, many find me desirable and appealing. They touch me and I give a false good feeling. Once I shine in splendor, but only once and then no more. For many, I am “to die for”. What am I?

Ans. Cigarette



Ques. If there are three oranges and you take away two, how many will you have?

Ans. Two (You took two)



Ques. Why did the banana go to the doctor?

Ans. Because it was not peeling well



Ques. This old one runs forever, but never moves at all. He has neither lungs nor throat, but still a mighty roaring call. What is it?

Ans. Waterfall



Ques. There are 6 mangoes in a basket and 6 kids eagerly waiting to get one. Each kid is given 1 mango, yet there is one mango in the basket, how?

Ans. The last kid gets the basket with the mango in it.



Ques. You have a cup placed on a table. You are pointing towards the North and the cup is facing towards the South. On which side is the cup's handle?

Ans. No matter in which position the cup is, its handle will always be on the outside!



Ques. I fly when I'm born. I lay when I'm alive and I run when I'm dead. What am I?

Ans. Snow



Ques. Why don't African animals play games?

Ans. There are too many cheetahs (cheaters)!